How do you balance it all? It’s a question I get all the time. Usually it’s from other working moms or boss babes who are thinking about having kids. I think my answer typically surprises them. Because in the most sincere and direct way, I explain that I just make it work. Let me be a little more specific. I make it work on my own terms.
I once discussed this topic on the Mompreneur Mindset podcast with Stefanie Gass (go check in out). I shared how before I had my daughter, everyone questioned how in the world I was going to manage to keep up with everything. The business, the team, the travel, the clients. I would politely nod my head and say that I would just make it work. While deep down inside I wanted to pounce on them and scream, “Do you know who I am? Do you know how far I have come to get to this point and how hard it was?” But if you know me, like really know me, that’s just not really my thing. So, I politely nodded and smiled.
You see, the reality is that we shape and create our own lives. We also get to choose how we allow others to treat us. Therefore, long before I actually gave birth, I committed to the fact that I was going to make it work. Heck, I was responding to texts and emails up until a few hours before the big arrival. And just three weeks after Skylar came into the world, I was at the NFL combine.
Early on, I had to accept that I was never going to have a Pinterest-worthy life. Actually let me back up. PSA: When you give birth, please stay off of Pinterest and Instagram. It’s all a lie. You are not expected to measure up to the perfectly dressed mother daughter/son duos whose body snaps right back after the baby, and somehow you still manage to get dinner on the table, and their latest photoshoot up on your blog and Instagram feed (can you tell I have gone down this rabbit hole?). I digress.
I accepted that I wasn’t going to have it all together and that was going to be okay. There are honestly weeks at a time where work and just trying to keep my little human alive takes over, and the laundry doesn’t get done or I forget to order diapers (thank God for Amazon Prime now). There are trips where I forget to pack literally everything, including a coat for my daughter, and the stroller. And guess what? It’s okay. We survive. We make it work. Despite the fact that Amazon saves my butt time and time again, the real lesson here is that you don’t have to measure up because there is no such thing as “working momstandards”. Your only requirement is to do the best that you can and of course, remember to feed, love, change, and then love on that baby some more.
Guess what? I am giving you permission to not have it all together. Show up to playtime with a messy bun, but show up with a smile on your face because you cleaned out your inbox. Go and kill it at a client meeting and then go home and let your kid stay in the same pajamas for over 24 hours while you put on Daniel Tiger and chill on the living room floor (been there, done that). Choose to live life on your own terms. Set the standard for your life. And finally, one more very important thing: don’t feel guilty about your balancing act, and don’t you dare let anyone else make you feel guilty about it. Balance away, boss babes!